DATING AND MARRIAGE

Dating and Marriage

What is dating?  

Dating is friendship and a process of getting acquainted with someone that the relationship might one day lead to marriage.

Dating is an important prerequisite for making a choice when it comes to marriage. Remember, you will eventually marry those from whom you date.

Before you start dating activities consider the following factors:

    1.Cultural Background: in some countries or cultures dating and friendship is not permitted until  you are ready  for marriage, in most cases, intended couples will be introduced to each other few Months before marriage. Parent or an intermediary  will only

be permitted to send any information to the intended couples. They will only have access to

each other few weeks before marriage and under an intense surveillance to be sure they

do not have immoral knowledge of each other.

In Britain, America or other developing countries dating is permitted. In the 21^st century, inter-tribal, or racial relationship is common to the human race. Whatever your environment or Cultural background you found yourself in, go in line with such. 

2. Family or parental Background: One of the most essential aspect of any good relationship is to check the personal life and the parental background of any one you are considering a dating relationship with, having it at the back of your mind that you will eventually marry the one you date. Effort must be made to spend quality time to do this.

3.Religious Background: Religion is a key factor when making a plan to date or eventually   get married, if you are a Christian, balance the equation by dating or marry  a Christian

perhaps of the same denomination. Religion differences can pose a serious threat to family relationship and children or can even separate it.

4.Educational Background: Depending on your line of career, you might want to date or marry someone whose interest complement your own. Generally we do not suggest  what

level of academic qualification you need to make a choice. In all let your plans be flexible.

5.Distance: As a rule, never consider the option of  long or distance dating, in dating relationship your expectation is to choose one among those with whom you date.  Distance relationship  cannot create  a platform for you to know at least 45 percent of the background of someone you are considering spending the rest of your lifetime.

When Should i date?

The decision of when to date can be categorized into different stages:

 1. Age: Age plays a big role when considering the appropriate time to date, for example

  in Europe and America age 16 and above is a good time for them to start getting 

  acquainted with those they feel they can hang out with. In major part of Africa e.g 

  Nigeria. Standard dating may not be achieved until you have attained a University age

  (18years) above. To some dating is not necessary until they feel they are ready to do so.

 2. Level of Maturity: Most time maturity is different from age. Some are gifted with good

   interpersonal and communication skills. We need to develop personal and character traits 

   and work on our strong weaknesses that can prevent us from attracting a good partner 

   that will be suitable for you to marry. Remember you need to make yourself good for 

   that good lady or good guy you intend to marry one day. Their is no MR AND MRS RIGHT

   anywhere. Make yourself right for the right person. If you live in Europe you can get 

   someone suitable for you in America as well as in China. 

 3. Level of independent: in as much as you reside under your parent or guidance, your 

     level of independence and freedom might be limited by them except they have a level

     of trust and confidence in you. Parent and guidance tend to restrict ladies because 

     they are more susceptible to risk and danger. Nevertheless, if your parent allow you

     some level of freedom try to make it up to them and they will trust you for life.

     Remember it is better to be trusted than to be loved. 

Why do i need to date?

You need to date to establish the following:

 A. Background

 B. Compatibility

 C. Religion

 D. Social Class

Many years ago, the system of getting to know your intended spouse before marriage is

not common. If you discover a lady whether withing a community or your neighborhood,

to get access to her you need the help of an intermediary to deliver your message to her.

The benefit of Considering the following factors:

 1. Background: Over time people get into a relationship or dating activities blindly

     without doing their background check on the person they are considering spending 

     their entire life with. Remember you will marry from those you date!     

      In the modern time conducting a background check is as simple as ABC so do yourself

     a favour.

 2. Religion: In life the faith, or the school of thought that a man belong to play a special

     role on how he thinks, relate and do things. So ensure you date those whom you think

     your school of thought ally with.

 3. Social Class: In every economic or social class, people generally fall withing a

     particular class e.g 1. The high class 2. The middle Class and 3. The low class . 

     Practically, the high class want to associate with the high class, the middle class 

     want to associate with the middle and the low class also. When the low class mix 

     with the high class, the low class is seen as taking advantage of the high class.

     Whatever class you belong or circumstances you find yourself apply wisdom and

     judgement. 

 4. Compatibility: Effort must be made to date as many as you can. In the process

     if you work very hard in your dating activities and learn all you needed to learn

     probably 50 percent of your mate, you can progress to courtship.

What to do during dating                                                                                                         1. Plan constructive activities that will allow you to understand and learn basic qualities from each other.
2. If in a group dating as a result of your age or level of maturity remember to go to a safe environment.
3. Regardless of your age never stay alone, the risk is high and you might not be able to  help  the outcome.     
4. Help each other grow both mentally,socially and spiritually.
5. Be optimistic about life.
6. Learn to appreciate your mate.
7. Engage in a discussion that will motivate your life plans and career.
8. Do not take advantage of each other.
9. Practice effective communication.
10. Learn to use the magic words: thank you, I'm sorry,please forgive me.Note that marriage does not begin from the alter, so the magic word do not only apply to married people. Remember you will marry from those you date!!!.

How do i know if I'm in a right relationship?
Over time people go into a relationship blindly without considering the basic factors and asking the following questions:
 1. Do you share the same school of thoughts?
 2. Does your social lifestyles tally?
 3. Do you have a conflict of religion or interest?
 4. Is your life dreams and aspirations closely related
 5. Do you feel you were better than you were in his or her presence?  
If all this questions is adequately and honestly answered, then you are on the right track.

   

How many should i date at a time?
In Britain and America for example dating as many as you can is a culture that general work based on the understanding of the people in that area. In Nigeria for example dating many is not common. An average African man or woman prefer to stick to one partner during dating:this is typically call courtship. Research carried out of recent by Multiskilled professionals indicated that 80 out of 100 ladies whose heart were broken were actually sticking to one man. Remember dating does not involve string attached. It is an opportunity to learn the qualities of the one whom you think might be suitable for you to spend the rest of your lifetime with.

What is an average recommendation of your dating activities? 
Some experts says to be on the safer side for men an average of four is better and for ladies an average of three. When you move from casual dating to steady date for men an average of three and for women an average of two is recommended. When you now eventually move from steady date to courtship for women their transition from two to one is smart. For men they can easily drop two for one. Caution!!! Men should never as rule promise marriage at dating or else you will end up breaking many hearts