MARRIAGE COUNSELING

RULE NUMBER 8

RULE: HUG AND KISS EACH OTHER DAILY

Affection is a strong part of every relationship. Note that even when couples are not really at peace, if they can summon the courage to hug and kiss each other before they depart for the day activities, it becomes a good antidote in resolving their conflict. So if you must succeed in your marital relationship, you must adhere to rule number 8.   

MARRIAGE COUNSELING

RULE NUMBER 7

RULE: Resolve your conflict yourself

Over time most couples who take the pain to resolve their conflicts themselves hardly find themselves in a serious mess. When you are angry over an issue that need attention, give yourselves adequate time to relax and find a conducive environment to sort it out without introducing a third party. This demonstrate a high level of maturity in marriage and that you are willing to learn together. In African context, most men want to dominate an argument and ignoring their partners input. In America and Britain when men ignore or hurt  their wife or refuse to involve them in sensitive decision, they sought the help of marriage therapist. Note, men should take the lead and resolve any conflict whatsoever with their partner without violent. Aristotle said ''SAY SORRY TO A WOMAN EVEN IF SHE IS WRONG''. To succeed as a couple adhere to rule number 7.      

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MARRIAGE COUNSELING

RULE NUMBER 6

RULE: COUPLES SHOULD BE ALONE FOR THE FIRST FIVE YEARS OF THEIR MARRIAGE.

I met a man who has been married for the past fifteen years, he told me the only mistake he made in the early stage of his marriage is to allow someone living with them in the first five years of their marriage. He said i never appreciate my wife until we stayed alone.

Newly married couples came from different background and training, their five years should be a period of leaning and understanding each other.It should equally be a period for them to enjoy honeymoon. Some marriage therapist said honeymoon for couples should be a lifetime pursuit. So if you must succeed in your marriage adhere to rule number 6. 

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MARRIAGE COUNSELING

RULE NUMBER 5

RULE: Do not allow your conflict to stay 24 hours before it is resolved.

Your partner play a major role in your day to day activities, conflict is part of every relationship, is a process that help couples to clarify and understand each other but not a period for violent.

Some school of thought said conflict is another way of moving disagreement to agreement.

Warning: If you fail to resolve your conflict within 24 hours, your partner might discuss it with a third party, this might expose you to emotional risk. This is how extra marital affairs start.

MARRIAGE COUNSELING

RULE NUMBER 4
Share your task 

For newly married couples, it is evidenced that both parties will want to go extra miles because of the strong feelings of courtship that was brought into the marriage. Surveyed carried out on most divorced couples indicated that part of the thing that lead separation of couples is whether the husband want to do nothing and wife doing virtually all the house chores. 

Note: 

1. Husband should work on the task involving hard task.
2. Wife should do more of children management and cooking.
3. If any of the partner is ill, you should doubled your effort accomplish all task.
4. Finally, for couples to be successful, they should adhere strictly to rule number four. 

RULE NUMBER 3
Have a joint account for major financial decision and
have a personal account for miscellaneous expenses.
Over time couples have separated from each other because of minor financial misunderstanding. In my interview with matured couples recently, about 80 percent of the couples claimed that most of the conflict at home is caused as a result of financial conflict.
Admonition:
Always plan and have a budget
Let your partner know what you earn
Always adhere to rule number three
Warning

• Never fight over a menial issues that will break a relationship that takes years to build.
• Be transparent 
• Involve your partner in major financial decision. 
• Finally always adhere to rule number three
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